Tips To Make You More Confident

When we look at someone who appears to be confident, we cannot always pinpoint one factor that we believe makes them appear confident.

“Is it their tone of voice?

Is it because of the way they stand?

Is it their appearance that makes them look confident?”

When asked a person whether you think you’re confident, you would usually say yes or no based on your overall impression.

The truth is there’s no single factor that makes a person appear confident. It is the combination of all three elements: your body, mind, and appearance, that sends the message that you are confident.

Though some of us are born more confident than others for a variety of reasons, including our upbringing, how our parents treated us, and how society, school, or people around us treated us. It is true that our environment has a significant influence on us, and as a result, our confidence levels may differ when we reach adulthood.

But the good news is that we can train to boost our confidence level; all it takes is a little more practice and knowledge of what to work on. Let’s take a closer look at each of these three elements to see how they can help you boost your confidence.

1. Looks Matter: Like What You See

I know there’s a lot of debate about whether we should judge a book by its cover or if that’s an old archaic notion. However, the truth is that the first impression that anyone makes on us is based on seven seconds, and that impression is usually strongly influenced by the way they look.

I’d like to send a different type of message here. I want you to look however you want, not how other people would like to see you. When you like what you see in the mirror, when you like what you see in your own reflection, your confidence level immediately rises.

I’d like to use my daughter as an example to make this point. She’s only six years old, but when she gets to pick out her outfit for school early in the morning and she loves it, she just looks at herself in the mirror with admiration. And she feels confident as she walks out the door that day.

On the other hand, when I make her wear something for a specific occasion because it’s a dress code or because I think she’ll look beautiful in it, but she doesn’t perceive it that way, she wouldn’t like it for some reason, and her confidence level suffers as a result. She will not admire herself in the mirror, regardless of what others around her say about her appearance.

At home, try this test for yourself.

1. Assume you’re still in your pajamas. Your hair is all messed up. You know you don’t feel very confident in that outfit.
2. Simply go take a shower.
3. Change into a nice pair of jeans, a nice blouse, or a white t-shirt quickly.
4. Wear your hair down or in a nice bun.
5. Apply a little makeup.
6. If preferred, add some perfume.

Then go up to the nerve, look in the mirror, and see what will happen to your confidence level after you did that. You will notice that your confidence level increased from 0 to 100 in less than 20 to 30 minutes.

Now that we’ve mastered and grasped the importance of appearances in boosting our confidence and the appearances that matter to you that you want to see in yourself, we’ll move on to working on our body.

2. Train your body

Working on the body takes much longer than adjusting your appearance. It is also quite doable and very learnable. There are a few universal body language postures that convey confidence.

– Open Body Posture

Maintain an open body posture. It implies that you should not slouch or cross your arms and that your body should not be obstructed by anything. Your body should be open and visible to the person with whom you are interacting. I also did a video on how to walk elegantly and confidently. 

– Power Stance

Strike a power pose in which your feet are slightly greater than they would be for a woman. But, in general, the more physical space you occupy, the more confident you feel internal, and the more confident others perceive you to be. 

Again, this does not imply that you must take it to its extreme. You know that stretching your legs too far apart will not make you appear confident. Decency and modesty in everything that you do.

– Eye Contact

Maintaining eye contact is extremely important. It is essential to look people in the eyes. The more you can maintain eye contact, the more people will perceive you to be self-assured. In fact, I’ve created two videos on body language tips and tricks. These are helpful hints to know if you want to appear competent and trustworthy as a negotiator and speaker.

– Smile More Often

A universal sign of confidence and friendliness is to smile more often. The more you can smile at people, the more they will believe you are confident in yourself. You’re approachable. You are so confident in yourself that you allow someone else to approach you.

– Mind Your Hands

Take note of your hands. Even if you don’t say anything, your hands will reveal how you truly feel. If you are cracking your knuckles, biting your nails, or playing with your ring, it demonstrates a lack of confidence. 

If you’re a lady, a small bag or clutch can come in handy to keep your hands occupied. You can simply hold your clutch or bag to take up your hands. If you’re out and about socializing, such as at a networking event, you could pick up a glass and place it in your left hand, occupying your hand and making you feel a little more comfortable and confident.

3. Educate Your Mind

This is going to take a little bit more time to prepare, and the final is the mind. It will take a little bit more time but it’s also doable.

What I mean by the mind is your knowledge of things. It’s important to make sure that you continue educating yourself even after graduating from school. The more things you’re aware of, the more confident and comfortable you feel in conversation with others.

Self-education is a lifelong practice.

1. Read best-selling books.
2. Keep up with world events and keep yourself well informed.
3. Learn about the topics that your friends, community, university, and society are discussing so that you can contribute to the conversation.

When you don’t understand what people are talking about, you tend to withdraw from the conversation because you don’t have anything to say. And to have something to say, you must be aware of everything that is going on. Just a little bit here and there is useful to be able to maintain small talk, to keep the conversation going.

To demonstrate this point, I’d like to use an example from my own experience. When I was in 5th and 6th grade, I was attending an art class where my classmates were discussing a new book that I’d never heard of, and for the full hour of the class, I felt insecure. I felt uncomfortable.

To sum it up, I was unable to contribute anything to this conversation because I had no idea what they were discussing. Then as soon as I got home, I asked my mom to buy the book for me. And I believe that many of you from my generation are aware of this. The book under discussion was Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.

So, I asked my mother to get me one. She spent the entire evening looking for the book, eventually bringing one home. To say the least, I was ecstatic when I began reading the book. To cut a long story short, for the next few years, all we could talk about was Harry Potter, and I was always a part of the conversation.

We are sometimes able to find communities that are doing things that we already enjoy. So, we join this community of people and feel as if we can contribute to the discussion.

However, there are times when we need to explore new fields of interest, perhaps those that were previously outside of our scope of interest, to grow and contribute to more things. This has nothing to do with blending.

This does not imply that you must sacrifice your own interests for the sake of the greater good. It simply means that, in addition to your own interests, you begin to develop or explore new possibilities, new knowledge, and new fields for yourself, while also growing as an individual, and this is part of increasing your confidence level.

The more you know about your surroundings, the more confident you’ll feel in yourself and your ability to participate in discussions and communities. 

-> Start reading more books. 
-> Begin to listen to more podcasts. 
-> Begin learning about subjects you’ve never wanted to learn about. 

It never hurts to have a little bit of knowledge.

To summarize, it’s not just about how you look, it’s not just about how you walk or talk, and it’s not just about what you have to say; it’s a combination of all three elements that makes you feel and look confident.